#anyway mila made me post this

[tetzoro]

titan jean. that is all.

[butchshepherd]

caring more than the average person abt dogs' wellbeing and dogs being given the best chances to thrive in the situations they're put in is making me feel like i sound like this today. sorry i guess.

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part One

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Hey! First time writing for Em so I figured I'd use a side account and see how it went? Honestly this is a whole series in my mind so might add onto this first part soon! An oc character but can be read as a reader insert if you prefer:)

Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

Warnings: Lots of swearing, dark humour

Masterlist

I was mortified.

More so than I’d probably ever been, in truth. All because of a stupid video that had been taken a couple of years back when I’d had one drink too many on a holiday I’d always dreamt of.

To be fair though, the majority of the blame lied heavily on my younger sister’s shoulders, who’d found the stupid thing whilst reminiscing through old memories and thought it would be hilarious to post online. Forgetting about the millions of fans who would soon see it– and not just mine, it would seem.

No, because that just wasn’t how the internet worked, was it? And when a newly nominated artist, who had only been in the game for a couple years, was filmed rapping an old noughties classic instead of singing like expected, it was basically bound to go viral. Didn’t help that I was a Londoner through and through and had the accent to prove it, making the whole video that much harder to watch. In truth, I continued to cringe each time I was reminded of it, which was practically anytime I opened up social media or witnessed the guilty expression that continued to mar my sister’s face.

“Stop doing that.” I huffed at her later on when the worst of it still continued to storm on, almost whining actually as I looked away from my phone screen and down at the food I wasn’t really eating, just picking at. I was supposed to be mad, infuriated even, but it was proving to be a fucking chore when she kept on looking at me like that.

“Doing what?” Lottie retorted, not even attempting to wipe the culpable look from off of her face. She was currently residing back at mum’s now, seeing as how she had school and I’d only just landed back home, but I’d give it a day before she was back here again. My flight over had been strenuous, it always was when flying to and from Cali, but still I made time for her– even after the most recent stunt she had gone and pulled.

“Don’t do that either.” 

I’d meant to sound scolding but the soft laugh that escaped me truly was accidental. I couldn’t quite help it, I knew that being mad at her wouldn’t solve anything now and that she hadn’t really meant any harm by posting the video. That was just the type of person she was, she acted before she thought things through and didn’t ever think much for the consequences. Then again, she was still only fourteen and her putting the drunken moment on her Instagram story had just been one of those sibling type moments, the kind where you’d rip the piss out of one another simply because you could.

“I mean it, Lotts.” I sighed around the words, eyes flitting back to the screen and the way she was chewing on her lower lip. “It’s being sorted and, I don't know, I guess it’ll die down sooner or later. Mila reckons so anyway. We’ll give it a day or two, hey?”

A day or two did pass. And no such thing happened.

I’d been cooped up at home ever since I’d touched down at Heathrow, having jumped in the first cab available and fallen asleep the second I’d gotten in through the door. I’d been working out in LA for a couple weeks with a few other writers, just messing about with new sounds and ideas for the next album I eventually wanted to release. So I hadn’t been witness to the media catastrophe Lottie had created until later the next afternoon when Mila, my manager, had all but mowed down my front door, having called my phone three dozen times and gotten a guy she was currently seeing in the city to come buzz my intercom. It had been a wake up call and a half to say the least.

Still, she had assumed it would all die down fairly quickly, went as far to say that it could do wonders for my career– even with me being visibly tipsy– after having had the absolute gall to say that I hadn’t sounded half as bad as I thought I did. I’d cackled hysterically into the phone at that, then had somewhat of a meltdown, in utter disbelief over the apparent reaction she claimed the video had gone and garnered. Because I was absolutely not looking. Knew that if I did there would be too large a chance that I’d check myself into the nearest psychiatric unit. 

But as I said, a couple of days had passed and typically something like this would have eventually blown over when the next big story hit the headlines. White girl can spit a verse, who cared? Only then the VMA’s had happened and shit hit the fucking fan.

I hadn’t attended, shit like that had always irked me. I could perform in front of a crowd of thousands and step off feeling as high as a kite, but stick me on a carpet and force me to interact with cameras, questions, and people? That was where I drew the line.

At the start, I had tried. I’d been new on the scene and people had reasoned that I would just end up being another one hit wonder, so the label had figured it best if I got myself out there, if only to interact with other artists and producers in similar circles.

It had gone down a treat– like a cake being knocked over at the wedding of the year. Maybe even worse. I didn’t like to linger too long on it.

But I’d tried again and again afterwards, although it had only proven to worsen my mood each time and forced me to retreat, avoiding my team and the responsibilities I had lined up for a short while after. It was only following a particularly uncomfortable night that Mila had called it quits and had a contract drawn up stating that I only had to attend a certain amount of events a year. It had been at that moment that I’d realised just how fucked I would have been in this industry without her.

Even so, life still continued on without me and the VMA’s were just another show I would be mostly avoiding, only making a statement at the end of the night online for the nominations I’d been gifted.

It was around midnight when I heard the scream.

Lottie was staying with me, typical for whenever I was back in London for a few weeks at a time, and so I’d felt my heart literally drop to my feet at the very sound of her screech and legged it across the entirety of the house. At first, I’d thought she’d slipped and fallen, maybe cracked her head open on a counter. And then the thought of an intruder had crossed my mind whilst I’d gone skidding over the landing. So anyone could understand why I was so worked up when I finally threw open her bedroom door only to find her simply sat there on her phone, hand covering her mouth.

“What the hell is your problem? It’s just gone twelve, Lottie! I thought something had happened!” I rebuked her, chest heaving as I dropped the heavy bookend I’d managed to pick up somewhere on my way over down onto her desk. “Shit.”

Her eyes were wider than I’d ever seen them though when I finally did get around to catching my breath and chanced another glance back at her.

“I was literally just about to fall asleep.” Which really meant that I’d been getting into bed to scroll through my phone or read a book when I’d heard her shout. “Then you screamed as though Freddy Krueger was stood at your window.”

“Elia.” 

I blinked, Lottie rarely did that, used my entire name and not the usual shortened version or whatever other epithet that came to mind– and truly, there was a large variety, the shit I’d heard this kid come out with was insane. But I shook my head at the thought and quirked a brow at her. “What? Did someone die?”

“No,” She answered me, dropping her hand away from her face even though her jaw was still gaping, “But I just might.”

Rolling my eyes at the theatrics, I exhaled and walked over to slump on the end of her bed, figuring that something had happened between her and one of her friends, or maybe some lad she might’ve been speaking to. “And it deserved a scream like that? Honestly Lotts, just be thankful this place doesn’t have any neighbours listening in through the walls.” I told her, thinking back to my own adolescent years and the woman in the flat beside ours, “We’d have someone knocking at the door in under a half hour.”

It was her turn to roll her eyes then as she scoffed at me– like I was the one being dramatic here– before she then shook her head and shuffled hurriedly over the mattress to sit closer. “No Lia, just listen, look.”

Confused, I sighed and tilted my head when Lottie moved to shove her mobile in my face. I squinted at the sudden contrast, showing off my age and the horrific tragedy that was my eyesight, and tried to make sense of whatever it was that she was so hellbent on showing me. 

From what I could first make out, it was just a Twitter thread, but then Lotts then clicked on the main video at the top. I waited as the clip buffered for a second, then a familiar face panned into focus and I felt my brow furrow. I peered over at Lottie for a split second before her eyes were widening in retort and she gestured her chin back towards the screen.

I narrowed my own eyes in turn, but watched on.

It had to be a coincidence, I reasoned. That of all people it was him that Lottie was currently showing me.

“Well, aren’t we in for a show tonight! Eminem is in the house, people!” An interviewer started, she was a tall, leggy blonde who held a too big microphone too close to her chin. “How are you feeling?”

I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was to see him on the VMA’s carpet, not after the comeback he’d made late last year with LP 2, but I was, eyes caught on the bleached buzz cut he’d since reverted back to for the album’s release. Fuck, I’d be so pissed if it came out that he was performing tonight and I’d gone ahead and missed it.

Lottie thumped my shoulder, hard, realising fairly quickly that I hadn’t really been listening, and so I scowled in retort but gritted my teeth to keep from thumping her right back. She might’ve been my sister, but I had well over a decade on the kid and was marginally her guardian, just not in writing.

The rapper had seemingly just finished commenting on a question the tall blonde had asked him and so I forced myself to pay closer attention, brain whirling as I wondered what could have possibly been so important that it had Lottie screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night.

“I feel that!” The woman practically beamed at the rapper, head nodding along to whatever he’d just said, “But it’s good to hear that you’re enjoying being back. In truth, I wasn’t sure I’d catch you here tonight, there’s been a lot of buzz surrounding you at the moment and not just because of the album!”

My heart stuttered in my chest. Actually, I was pretty sure it had gone and fallen out of my arse, especially when the interviewer continued to press on the topic and it appeared as though the man in question understood exactly what she was getting at. His stoic facade cracked just a tad and– there! A smirk. An ever so slight crook of his mouth. I shot a startled glance over at Lottie but her gaze was fixated on the screen.

“I mean, have you seen it?” The interviewer prompted whilst he simply stood there, fisted hands clasped before him. No sign of the split second curve he’d just had on his lips. “The whole world’s been wondering about your thoughts on the singer!”

And there it was.

“I can’t,” I started to say, turning away from the phone just as a rush of nausea flooded through me, but Lottie held strong, hand coming up to catch my shoulder so that she could position her phone back in my eyeline. “Lottie–” I tried. Please.

“Just listen.” She persisted, face so serious.

Immediately I wanted to rescind my earlier statement. This was now my most mortifying moment. In fact, I wanted to hide in the nearest cupboard and never come out again. How the fuck was I going to show my face in public, not to mention at the next event, after this?

I swallowed thickly, entirely unprepared to hear a word he had to say about me. I mean, who would be? This man was leagues above a majority of the industry, me included. Never had I ever even thought that he could hear my name in passing, let alone listen to one of my songs playing in some shop he was coincidentally in or a random radio station. But here he now was, rolling his lips as he pondered over a question which concerned that stupid fucking video. 

“I hate you.” I whispered at Lottie, mostly in hopes to cover up whatever he was about to say, but also because I was embarrassed beyond belief. And this was all her fault.

In the time spent since the drunken video had first gone up and now, I had yet to even think about him ever seeing it. Because the idea was that far fetched. But this was me, so of course he had.

“I’ve heard it.” Marshall confirmed, his head dipped in a barely there nod. My throat cinched. I wondered briefly how quickly I’d be able to tie myself a noose.

“And?” The woman prodded and internally I cursed her future bloodline, hoping that she'd somehow spawn the next antichrist or that her grandchild would become a shit-headed politician.

The man in question merely hummed, hollowing out his cheeks. “I was surprised, I have to admit. But she’s good, even when wasted.”

“I wasn’t fucking wasted!” 

I hadn't even realised I’d spoken out loud until Lottie snorted on a chuckle. I turned towards her, brows raised high, “What? I wasn’t. You were there!”

I rolled my eyes when she didn’t deign me with some sort of assent but my head snapped back over to where she still gripped the phone when I heard him speak again, his voice echoing throughout the quiet bedroom.

“Then again, her shit goes hard. So it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise.”

That heart of mine that I kept on talking about? Yeah, I had zero clue as to what the fuck was going on with it now, only that my chest was wound as tight as it possibly could be and my eyes stung as I withheld the urge to even blink.

“You’re a fan?” The woman asked him, appearing genuinely surprised by the notion, even though it sounded more like a declaration rather than the question it was.

Marshall hummed, sparing a brief glance over his shoulder when a group shuffled on past them, disrupting the interview. It didn’t deter the woman though and I couldn’t blame her, no matter how much it pained me.

“So, could this mean we’ll be seeing a new featured artist on whatever you put out next?”

I made some sort of inhuman sound at that, but barely moved a muscle. And then I all but shutdown when the rapper's wide eyes flickered over to peer straight into the camera’s lens, “I mean, if she’s down.”

The next scream that was emitted once again came from Lottie, but I couldn’t think to scold her for it, not when I was hardly even functioning and wanted to implode myself. 

The girl toppled over onto me, shaking my shoulders whilst she squealed unabashedly. “If. She’s. Down!” She repeated, squealing with excitement, “El, this is insane! How are you not screaming too?”

The air I forced from my lungs came out in a breathless chuckle as I clung to the forearm that was still wrapped around my collar. In truth, I didn’t know how the hell I was supposed to react. 

“Figure you’ve screamed enough for the both of us.” I replied faintly, not really thinking but somehow managing to carry on, mostly out of sheer shock. I glanced her way, “I feel a bit sick.”

Lottie just shook me harder and when we eventually went falling down onto the duvet in a mess of limbs I wondered what I was going to do with the knowledge that I’d just been given. God. He knew who I was. The shock of it was almost like reliving my first time on stage all over again.

That night I ended up listening to Lottie rant on and on for a good while after whilst she scrolled through her Twitter feed and the rest of the internet. Mila eventually intervened, calling after having seen it too, and was as smug as ever. “Told you.” She’d said the second I’d hit the answer button and I hadn’t had the heart to play it off or act as though I hadn’t seen it either. 

After the interview eventually finished trending and stopped being posted here, there, and everywhere, I was left with a flow of new followers but also a nightmare of opinions spouting from every corner of the planet on any comment section I had to offer. I forced myself to come off most apps I had downloaded after that and resorted to gaining my daily entertainment, and any real news, from Lottie. Which seemed sad, in retrospect, but honestly? It was more than a little self-serving and I’d even managed to get a shit load of stuff done.

I worked on a couple new songs, sticking to what I did best, but my mind did end up drifting away every so often, back to a conversation I’d had with Mila and Travis at the label a couple days after the media storm had passed. It seemed they all wanted me to try implementing a few new concepts into the music I was currently working on before we started to draw up ideas for the next album. Travis reasoned that even attempting to add a couple freestyles into the motions whilst I went about writing would do me wonders later on. 

I just felt uncomfortable with it all, really. I’d never been a rapper. I mean, I loved it. It was mainly what I’d been brought up on, having grown up in an area where every kid on the estate was either attempting to become the next big thing or just blaring the biggest hits out of their car stereos. But that was just it. I listened and sang along, had even built up an extensive collection which I was immensely proud of, but the label were now aiming for this next album to make it onto a Grammy nominations list. It was all they had been fretting over since I’d somehow managed to chart the last one– although a single number one and an almost throw away making it to number seven didn’t make me all that hopeful. 

Even so, it forced me to wonder how it would all work if I started to switch things up now. I could appreciate all genres but I didn’t wanna become the next hopper just to appease the people yessing me and then fall off.

The entire concept had me confused and so I had taken to keeping my head down for a while longer.

Lottie had headed back to mum’s earlier that morning, seeing as I was due to make an appearance in Paris for Fashion Week, attending the Vogue show alongside Vivienne Westwood. An utter dream, yes, but also still an incredibly daunting reality. Even so, it was something I couldn’t quite worm my way out of even if I had wanted to– see, with that contract there still came clauses.

I’d been prepping for my upcoming early morning flight most of the day, showering later on than anticipated just so that I could pack my case and eat before I eventually climbed into bed. Hoping to somehow get a couple hours kip.

I’d thrown on a robe and kept the speakers blaring once I’d eventually jumped out from under the spray, wet hair curling at the ends as I worked on throwing something quick together in my kitchen.

It wasn't long before I went and took the bowl I’d just made out into the living room with me, simply so that I could curl up on the settee and wrap up the few emails I’d been working on earlier. I was just nodding along and humming to the next song that played through the overhead speakers when my phone started to buzz against my ankle, shooting a funny feeling up through the bone. I was quick to pick it up, wrinkling my nose at the feel and not paying much mind to the caller, figuring it had to be either Mila or Lottie.

“Hello?”

There was a short pause as I shifted the phone against my ear before a voice eventually sounded, “This Elia?”

Frowning, I casted a quick glance at the phone’s screen to find a number with an unfamiliar area code staring back at me. I let my gaze stray on over towards a clock I had hanging on the far wall only to find that it had just gone eight. 

I fumbled for a moment, “Um. It is, can I ask who’s calling?”

A low cough rumbled through the line before the same voice spoke again, I shuffled to set my laptop off to the side on the sofa, brow furrowed. “It’s Em– Marshall.”

Suddenly my head felt so very empty and my mouth was working around words that couldn't seem to find their way out. Em. The Em?? Fucking, Em?

I’d obviously been quiet a beat too long, drowning in the sudden panic that had shrouded me, because he spoke up again, “That Nas playin’?”

I shot a startled glance over my shoulder to where the fancy sound system was installed, the biggest reason I’d gone and purchased the home, in truth, and was immediately reminded of the music I had piercing through the air. Clumsily, I rolled off of the corner of the settee so that I could stumble over to turn the thing off, doing exactly that before I was forced to blink at the sudden silence that greeted me.

I winced and was quick to turn the music back on, keeping it low. All the while I still held my phone close to my chest.

“Uh, yeah. Hi!” I blundered helplessly after a moment, carding a hand through my damp hair as I stared at the empty wall before me stupidly. I wasn’t sure what to say, let alone do. I could sort of wrap my head around the interview, his brief mention of me. But a fucking phone call? It was on another level.

He chuckled though, enough so that I felt myself flush bashfully at my obvious awkwardness and forced my body to move back towards the sofa, if only so that I didn’t have to stand on shaky legs anymore. 

“Hi.” He mimicked, voice low albeit a tad amused.

I smiled. Unable to do anything but, in all honesty, as I lowered myself down onto the cushions, vaguely aware that I should probably be saying something else now that he’d gone and replied, but was simply more than a little caught off guard by everything. 

“Sorry, I– Well, I didn’t expect your call. Or anyones really.” I murmured, trying my best to shake off the nerves that were apparently wreaking havoc on my brain to mouth filter. “I just jumped out of the shower, had yet to turn off the stereo. Sorry.” How many times had I just apologised? I wanted to scream.

“You’re good.” He assured me, voice unlike what I probably would have expected and so I blinked once more at the sound of it, reminded that it was actually him I was talking to. But all that was fluttering through my head was ‘what the fuck are you doing calling me?’ “Nice choice, I gotta say. This an alright time for you to talk? I don’t wanna disturb you much.”

My eyes widened at both the compliment in song choice and well, him. Then withheld another sudden urge to scream, the hand not holding my phone clenching into a tight fist against my chest. “No, no, of course not. I mean, you’re fine! Not disturbing me at all.”

His next reply sounded more than just a little mirthful, “Sure ‘bout that?”

I willed myself to relax and took an inconspicuous breath as I pulled my legs back up under me. “I’m sure.” I told him, laughing lightly at myself for being so socially inept– or maybe it was just this entire scenario I’d been shoved into. “How’d you even get my number anyway?” 

I hadn’t meant for it to sound so forceful or abrupt, but it had been yet another question my sluggish brain hadn’t been able to find an answer to. 

“Mila?” He answered me, and I blinked stupidly at the name. “We had a mutual contact, figured I’d chance askin’ her instead of gettin’ lost in your DM’s. That cool? She said she’d let you know.”

The conniving cow, I thought to myself, though I wouldn’t have put it past her to have reasoned with herself that I would’ve probably freaked out if she had told me beforehand, before then having proceeded to just let my phone ring out whilst I stared pitifully at it. She knew me all too well. 

“She did not.” I replied through a baited breath, “But no, yeah. You’re alright, just caught me off guard is all. You’re probably the last person I expected to call, if I’m being honest here..”

When I heard him laugh once more I grinned, all too pleased with myself. It was a low gruff sound, not deep enough to be sarcastic or ingenuine, but rather warm. It surprised me.

“Oh yeah? Even after everything that’s gone down lately?”

My eyes slipped closed at the instantaneous reminder and I winced. The video. Honestly, in the whirlwind that wasn’t just my life at the moment, but this phone call too, I could have almost forgotten about it.

“I still can’t believe you saw that.”

Marshall let go of another amused huff that I figured to be a chuckle, breathing in deep enough that he forced me to wait on his next words. “I don’t lie. I meant what I said. But tell me, how many drinks d’you have in you?”

I curled my tongue against the back of my teeth in hopes to keep from grinning too hard, feeling a slight sting at the tip. “I was tipsy.” I argued pointlessly, knowing it would be a tireless venture, “I’d only had a couple.”

He hummed, seemingly not convinced.

“It was years ago, too!” I felt the need to tack on, the rosy hue the alcohol had given my cheeks sprung to mind and made me wonder. My face wrinkled as I dragged a helpless hand across it. “Who even sent it to you?”

“A couple people, actually.” Marshall ended up revealing and his words sounded playful enough that I could almost picture the curl of his mouth. “My daughter was one.”

Without thinking my hand flew up towards my mouth and I shook my head as I let it rest against my palm. “You’re not being serious.”

“Dre too.”

I let go of a hissed curse and crumpled a little bit in my seat before laughing stupidly at myself. If I couldn’t talk myself out of this then I supposed I would just have to get over it. I hoped thinking sensibly would allow me to actually follow through on that sentiment, but I very much doubted it.

Marshall laughed again, slow and easy almost as though he’d shared it with me a hundred times before. “I wasn’t kiddin’ neither. ’s why I called.”

Pulling my head from out of my hands, I wet my lower lip, mind promptly flashing back to the clip Lottie had shown me. “What’s that meant to mean?” I asked him, treading cautiously. 

“Listen.” He began, pausing only briefly to inhale before he then added, “I’m workin’ on another album–”

“No.” I interrupted, eyes suddenly wide and alert, “Already?”

A tittered snort followed the disruption but my mind was already reeling. 

“You’re not fucking with me?”

In all honesty I had prepared myself to wait a couple more years for another drop, hoping for him to feature or for someone to send for him if only so that he’d make a track in reply. I’d been obsessed with his recent work, even going as far as to add it onto the tour bus playlist late last year. It had actually been played so much the roadies and the band had threatened to rip the system out. But a new album? Fuck. I hadn’t expected it.

“Who else knows?”

There was a slight click on the other side of the line. Or scuffle. “As of right now? Like six people.”

I swallowed down the understanding that then hit me, but my stomach lurched at the very thought of it. “And I’m one?” I chuckled, holding back the hysterical laughter I felt bubble as my hand fell over my heart, “Wow, I feel honoured, Mathers.” It was teasing, the rib I meant, though my eyes still widened when I realised what I’d gone and said, not wanting him to take it the wrong way. 

I needn’t have worried. 

“As you fuckin’ should be.”

I gave a real laugh at that, almost a full-belly type shit. But could you really blame me? 

I was still smiling as I went to retort, humming with it, “God, you really just went and sprung that shit on me.”

“Hold you to keepin’ it on the low for now.” Marshall said, reminding me how paranoid the press and Hollywood had made him out to be in the past. I wondered how much truth there was in the sentiment. I mean, the man was almost a recluse– not that I could blame him, I was pulled from the same sort of cloth there– but to put a secret like that in my hands? It had to take some amount of faith.

I nodded seriously, even though he couldn’t see the gesture. Seemed he could hear the sincerity in my answer though, “‘Course.” I told him and then chewed on my lower lip for a second before a soft snicker escaped me. “That the only reason you called though? I mean, as honoured as I am to be one of the infamous six, I’m surprised you just phoned to let me in on the know. Have I just been roped into some sort of celeb elitist group? Weird initiation.”

His huffed laugh was breathy and made my mouth twitch that little bit more. 

“Nah. You always this weird though?” Marshall wondered and I bared my teeth in a light grimace, figuring I’d gone too far with that one. Or maybe.. I'd just hit the mark? I snorted lightly at the thought.

“It was an honest question! I’ve heard horror stories.” And wasn’t that the truth, events and parties weren’t all about the awards and just getting trollied. Some of those fuckers were as strange as people could come.

The man clucked his tongue, although I could hear the slight smile in his sarky response. “Uhuh. Sorry to disappoint but nah, initiation starts in the belly of LA. Gotta dissect a virgin and drink Ciroc out of their intestines. Funnel that shit down.”

The snort I gave in turn was ugly and loud enough that it forced a hand to fly up and cover my mouth, but it didn’t appear to bother the rapper none, who chuckled before clearing his throat.

“Change this shit to Facetime.” He said not a second after, swiftly cutting short my absurd amusement. “Then we can talk about the album.”

I fumbled for a moment. “I look a mess.”

“Good thing this ain’t a fuckin’ fashion show then.” He only pressed, “You think I give a shit what you look like right now?”

That struck an odd chord in me for some reason, but I didn’t want to linger much on the feeling. “No. But I do, dickhead. It’s half eight at night, I have sudocrem on my face and I look like a dog off of Lady and the Tramp.”

I was so flustered by the very thought of acquiescing to the man’s demand that I didn’t even think much of the name I’d gone and called him. 

“Again, do I give a shit? And what did you just call me?”

I paused, reeling back to whatever it was I’d just spouted at him. Upon rehashing my words I felt my tongue press between my lips to keep from laughing loudly, if Mila or Lottie had been there I’d already be strung up by a pair of metaphorical balls. 

“You heard me fine.” I brushed it off, if he wanted to call me out of the blue and act all chummy then chummy was what he’d get.

Besides it wasn’t like I’d meant the term maliciously, I used that type of endearment with everybody. Something my manager had tried and failed to force out of me time and time again.

“But back to this whole ‘seeing my mug thing’. Not happening, mate. Why couldn’t you have called like, six hours ago? I looked like an actual person then.”

“Dickhead.” He muttered beneath his breath, barely even loud enough for me to have heard him and I could only guess that he was shaking his head with it, hopefully somewhat amused. “You ain’t an actual person then?” He said in reply, forgoing the name calling for now, “Figures, you give off lizard vibes.”

“Fuck you!” My laugh was sudden, jaw having dropped a tad at the quip. “Lizard vibes, the fuck are you then? And yes, an actual person! You can’t just call people, drop a bomb, and then demand things!”

“Shit typically works.” He quipped all too quickly that it had me shaking my head around another quiet smile of my own. “Just entertain me though, for a moment.”

My head fell back against the arm of the sofa, eyes casted towards the high ceiling which loomed above. I couldn’t quite believe I was actually considering it.

He didn’t even have to goad me before I relented. I huffed, blowing a strand of hair from out of my face as I sat back up, “Fine. Just gimme a sec.” 

He hummed.

Elbowing my way off the settee I skidded over to the closest mirror, dragged a hand through my mostly dried hair and made sure that I didn’t have racoon eyes from any lingering mascara I’d had on before my shower. The patches of sudocrem would have to stay though, I deemed, seeing as he already knew about those. 

I gave up on the preening and sighed as I fell back onto the sofa, thankful for the dim lights the living room offered in that moment. It was just as I was switching the call though that a thought hit me, making me question if the reason he’d asked me to start the Facetime was due to him wanting to give me the option to turn it down or simply because he had no idea how to do it himself. “Still there, old man?”

A scoff echoed into the room before my phone screen stuttered and I was left staring at the sharp lines of his face. It wasn’t like I hadn’t actually believed it was him I was talking to, but seeing the man was another thing altogether. He was a real person and that idea alone had me reeling. 

I wrinkled my nose almost shyly around a smile when that sharp gaze of his slid away from something behind the camera to meet mine. He tilted his head to look me over, the hood of his jumper moving with the motion. 

“I was right about the lizard thing.” Was the only greeting he offered me, jutting his chin out as he feigned all seriousness. 

My mouth dropped open upon hearing him and my tongue quickly flicked out towards a canine to keep from biting back at him. There was humour written in the gesture though, even as I moved to narrow my eyes. “He’s got jokes! Reused ones, I might add, but jokes nonetheless.” I snarked, lifting my eyebrows at him in exaggeration, “Hilarious.”

His mouth curled very, very briefly, but I was quick to work out that it was all in the eyes with him. They held a certain amount of mirth as they flickered over my face. I wondered what he saw. 

“Suits you though. Even with all the…” He waved a hand over his own face, probably referencing the white dots I had littered in a few places.

With a shake of my head I raised a hand to my chest, feigning a fond appreciation for the sardonic comment. “Is that the famous charm the world’s heard so much about then? Really know how to make a girl feel special, Mathers.”

His eyes slitted but still shone with a slight glaze, he hummed deeply in retort. “Best believe it. Why d’you think I’ve gotten divorced twice?”

A low whistle escaped me before I then laughed, eyes squinting with the strength of it. “Figured you might just have a kink for courtrooms.” 

His tongue swept into his cheek at my boldness, fighting back a real smile as he glanced away and then back again. “I’m down bad for a good Judge. Spank me vibes, you know?”

I chuckled outwardly at that, amused by his quick witted replies. But that in itself didn’t surprise me, it was well known just how hilarious the man could be, his stoic demeanour only prodding that revelation further. 

That sternness his face seemed to consistently hold softened though in that next moment and I watched on as he shuffled a little closer to the camera, sat somewhere indoors with enough natural light that he could have only been in his kitchen. It hit me then how wild this whole thing suddenly was. “What’s with the last name anyway?”

I blinked, caught off guard by his ask. “Um,” I fumbled, a slight wrinkle forming between my brow, “What do you mean, me calling you Mathers?”

He hummed and I had to think about it for a second. Ultimately I ended up gifting him a shrug, “Don’t know. Just feels strange to call you Eminem or whatever.” I laughed lightly at myself, hand falling to my knee to toy with a loose thread on the hem of my robe. “What do people usually call you?”

It was his turn to shrug then, his being a singular and fluid motion whereas mine had been more thoughtless. He was watching again though, the wide eyes I was so used to seeing in old interviews where he was always playing a part were now gentler, narrowed sure, but softer and slightly wrinkled at the very edges.

I tugged on the frayed thread, wrapping it around my finger enough to whiten the skin before I had to let it go again. “Is Em okay? Or just Marshall maybe?” I queried, watching him too.

“Whatever you want.” He murmured and it was then that I noticed he’d propped his phone up somewhere in front of him because a pair of hands came to rest at the bottom of the screen just as he pressed further into the counter he was sat at.

I wrung my lips to one side, teeth biting into the inside of my cheek enough to keep from smiling much more than I already was. “Most people call me El or Lia. Elia just started to feel unnatural away from, you know, everyone else.”

It was the worlds now, as well as one of few reasons I had for the stigma I felt around my own name. 

The man jerked his head in a short nod in response whilst his fingers intertwined against a marble countertop. “So we should just slide that into the writin’ credits then? Or you finally gone take me up on that offer of a feature?”

You know that odd feeling you get when you’re on the tube or a plane and so suddenly your ears just pop and there's this ringing sound that floods the single sense? It just happens, out of nowhere, and you blink. So all you can immediately focus on is the sound. The odd feeling of it driving waves deeper and deeper into your skull. And the only way you can recover is by holding your own breath?

That was what that question felt like to me. 

“What?”

His eyes were alight, akin to a low flame of flickering amusement and perhaps hope. “You deaf now too? Know you heard me.”

Of course I fucking heard him but that didn’t mean I understood. “This is for real?”

Finally, he let go of a dulcet chuckle, almost a ringing sound in and of itself. “You gone make me repeat it? You in, or not?”

“How is that even a question?” I breathed back to him, my hand shaking against the hem of my robe. “Yes! God, if I ever say to no to an ask like that you better fucking shoot me. What the fuck, Marshall?”

That chuckle again.

It was unlike anything else, the only sound I could hear around the blood rushing between my ears. Stupidly, I pinched my thigh and released a stuttered breath when the twist of skin radiated a short snap of pain up my leg.

“That the go ahead then?”

I must’ve looked so incredibly starstruck but I couldn’t even bring myself to care, this was unreal. I nodded, almost frantically at him. “Of course that’s the fucking go ahead! Are you sure about this? I mean, I don’t know how much help I’ll be. I mostly write radio shit.”

“Your earlier stuff ain’t.” Em shot back, the quip startling me enough to snap my jaw shut because not a lot of people ever dug that deep. But he continued on before I could think to hone in on the slip, “‘sides, your lyrics are what I fuck with. That shit makes you think, has you lingerin’. Playing with words is the aim, I want people thinkin’, leachin’ onto each syllable and every phrase. You do that.”

The air in my lungs lurched.

I could only offer him one reply, “When do we start?”

[triptychgrip]

New fic: Yuuri vs. Yuri on Hot Ones Versus 🔥🔥🔥

Yura loudly exhaled then sat up straight. 

“Ok, so back in February 2017, there was a local hockey team that began renting the ice for the slot right after this geezer would “coach” his then-fiance,” he began, jerking his head in Viktor’s direction and making a big show of his air quotes. “Notice I used air quotes because 90 percent of the time he was flirting and hanging all over him and it was the most loose definition of coaching possible.”

Kenjirou gave a hysterical sort of giggle and then immediately clapped a hand over his mouth. Feeling slightly defensive of his husband, Yuuri didn’t even have to think much about the words that left his lips.

“Vitya’s unorthodox methods worked, though, didn’t they?” he chimed in, not bothering to tone down his smugness. “Remind me, Yura: who was the gold medalist at the 2017 World Figure Skating Championships, again?”

Viktor and Aasha barked delighted-sounding laughs and out of the corner of his eye, Yuuri saw Mila whip her phone out. Presumably, to capture the flush that had begun to stain his opponent’s cheeks.

“Yeah, well…anyway,” Yura resumed in a grumble, doing a pretty poor job of masking his flusteredness. “Most of the players– ”

“It was Yuuri-senpai! Yuuri-senpai was the 2017 World’s title holder!” Kenjirou interrupted in a shout, very unnecessarily. 

Yuuri bit his lip to suppress the mirth bubbling up within him and made a concerted effort not to look over at Viktor.

“As I was saying!” the Ice Tiger huffed, shooting him a nasty look, as if he could read his mind. “Most of the players kept to themselves, and other than some very questionable tastes in cologne that we were subjected to in the break room and locker room, they were fine to be around. But then there was the team captain, Sergei…who just straight up sucked.”

Yuuri decided to adopt a neutral expression.

While he hadn’t been the biggest fan of Sergei, he’d also never known what to make of his love’s opinion that the man had had a crush on him. It was true that Sergei had sought him out for conversation more than a lot of Yubileyny’s other skaters, but he’d chalked this up to the fact that at that point, he had still been extremely new to Russia in general, and had probably seemed starved for friendly faces. 

And, if Madame Baranovskaya had shot laser beams out of her eyes whenever she was in Sergei’s general vicinity, Yuuri had suspected this was due to her distaste for hockey, and not anything to do with a sense of protectiveness over him.

“There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to explain all the assorted means of suckage, but it was sometime in May that I snapped,” Yura continued on, looking impressively impassive. “Sergei had the most douchey hairstyle by the way…this platinum blonde, dyed sort of swoopy-thing that was his entire personality, to the point he never stopped talking about it.”

---

The above excerpt is from my newly uploaded fic (which I teased in this post), detailing Yuuri and Yurio facing off against one another on Hot Ones Versus. Taking place during the 2021 off-season, the two of them are currently the top two seeded skaters in the world, and their rivalry is heightened by the fact that they are both Viktor's students.

Just like my Vanity Fair Lie Detector fic, I had such a blast writing this, and am really excited to work on the final chapter, which will be from Yurio and Viktor's points of view. (Mila and Kenjirou also have large roles in this story, as they have tagged along for the episode filming for moral support, LOL).

If you read this WIP and enjoy it, PLEASE tell me what you think; I love receiving comments!

🔥 You can read Chapter 1, here 🔥

Oh, and as I mention in the pre-notes, this story marks my 20th Yuri!!! on Ice fic. Maybe it's about time I made a pinned post, lol...

[efingart]

Commissioned from @brokencharcoal

A few months ago, I decided I needed some self-indulgent ship art and commissioned my favorite artist brokencharcoal to draw it for me. And omg did they knock it out of the park. (I need to note that they got it done super fast I was just slow to post it, I'm sorry)

They're also the sweetest person and so easy to work with. They even made suggestions to my original idea that even made it better! Anyway go commission them, they're the best.

Thank you so much for drawing Mila & Frank for me I love it so so much. 💙

[sassydjbob]

Tennessee Orange - Part one

Lando's family owns a ranch in Tennessee and Martin is an aspiring singer/songwriter who wants to save money and needs a change of scenery.

Inspired by Cowboy Lando during the Austin GP week.

Songs I used as inspiration: You look like you love me - Ella Langley feat. Riley Green Love you for a long time - Maggie Rogers LEVII'S JEANS - Beyoncé feat. Post Malone All to myself - Dan + Shay

ao3: SassyDjBob

note: English is not my first language. I am not from Tennessee and I don't live on a ranch, so it's not meant to be realistic and just used for a work of fiction. Credits to the owners and songwriters of the song lyrics used in the fic.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU LOVE ME

Mornings weren’t Lando’s favorite time of the day, if someone asked him, he would probably say it’s his least favorite time of the day. He valued his sleep, a lot. So the idea of having to wake up early almost every day for the next few months did not fill Lando with excitement. 

“Lando come on! He will arrive soon and I need you to pick him up from the train station in town!” were the first words Lando heard this summer morning and he groaned into his pillow. 

After refusing to leave his warm and comfortable bed for another two minutes he finally got up and ready for the day. When he entered the kitchen downstairs, he saw his parents having breakfast and sister having breakfast. 

“Why can’t Oli pick him up?” he asked while grabbing a toast and egg that his mom prepared for him. 

“Because Oli has his own family now. You know he is busy with Mila, I don’t want to bother him” Adam, his dad, replied while reading his daily newspaper. 

Lando rolls his eyes at that and scoffs “So I get stuck with these tasks now?”

Adam finally looks up from his newspaper to look at his son “Lando, don’t be like that. It won’t kill you to drive to the train station and pick up our new help for the summer. Please don’t make a big deal out of this.” he tells his son with a kind, but serious expression. 

“Who is this new guy anyways? I don’t know anything about him. Please don’t tell me it’s another one of these weirdos that play a harmonica every morning” Lando says with a slight whiny tone, not bearing the thought of being stuck with another Luke, like last years summer help, that woke him up every morning before sunrise to play his harmonica outside.

Adam laughs at his sons statement and shakes his head “His name is Martin. I think he is just a few years older than you. It will be nice to have someone close to your age here this summer, don’t you think so?”

“Yeah, maybe” Lando mumbles and thinks about the guy, Martin, a normal name. Would he get along with Martin? Will he be annoyed by him? He didn’t expect the guy to be close to his age, normally the summer helps were much older than him. Maybe he could befriend Martin and actually have a decent time during work this summer, the thought of that made him smile.

He suddenly realizes that he has no idea what Martin looks like “How am I meant to know who he is at the train station? And please don’t say I am meant to hold up a poster with his name on it, because there is no way in hell I will do that.”

Lando’s mom and sister, both called Cisca, chuckle at the thought of Lando holding up a sign like that waiting for Martin. “I told him you would wait at the bakery there, I’m sure it won’t be too crowded at this time” Adam tells him. 

“Ugh, he better show up on time. I won’t wait forever. If he doesn’t show up after 10 minutes I am driving back home.” Lando announces and leaves the kitchen. 

“Thank you!” his dad calls after him added by a “Be nice and polite!” from his mom.

-

The drive to the train station takes around 30 minutes and Lando jams to his favorite songs on full volume, like he always does when he drives his car. If there were two things in life he loved, among some other things, they were definitely driving cars, or cars in general, and music. He often just drives around with music blasting, to set his mind free and to relax.

The thirty minute drive went by quicker than expected and Lando finds himself at the train station, praying that he won’t stand around like an idiot waiting for someone that is late or, even worse, not showing up. After parking the car he walks to the bakery his dad told him to wait at, wondering if he should get himself a sweet treat. That bakery had really good croissants and now that he is thinking about them, he is craving one. 

Just when he decides to get one, his train of thought gets interrupted when he sees someone standing next to the entrance of the bakery. Lando feels his heart stop for a second when he looks at him. There was something about the guy that made Lando’s breath hitch, something that made him suddenly feel very warm, on this chill summer morning. 

He realizes that he stopped in the middle of the way when someone bumps into him and he curses under his breath. He was just about to continue walking to the bakery when it suddenly dawns on him why he is walking to that bakery, not to get a croissant, but to pick up the new help for the summer, Martin. When the realization hits him that that guy in front of the bakery could be Martin, he stops walking again. He suddenly panics, he doesn’t know why. The thought of that being Martin has him feeling nervous, but also excited.

His heartrate picks up again and his hands feel sweaty. How is he supposed to walk up to him now? Should he just say his name or wait for him to say something? What if that isn’t Martin and it’s just a random guy that he will never see again? Lando would be very disappointed if that wasn’t Martin. He suddenly feels extremely overwhelmed by the situation and doesn’t realize he is standing in the way, again, until someone bumps into him, again. This time though the automatic “sorry” doesn’t leave his lips, instead a loud and embarrassingly high pitched yelp does. 

At first he doesn’t even realize why he reacted like that until he suddenly feels something burning his skin and when he looks down at himself he can see hot coffee staining his left arm, the side of his shirt and jeans. He curses under his breath and looks to the woman who is now holding an empty cup of coffee “I am so sorry, I didn’t see you standing here” she says with an apologetic look on her face. 

Lando smiles weakly “Nah it’s okay I shouldn’t have stood there, it’s alright” he says with an awkward look, truly feeling stupid for getting so distracted. 

“Do you happen to have a tissue or something?” he asks and looks down at his arm and clothes that are soaked in coffee. 

“Let me check, I don’t know if I have any in my bag” the woman replies and starts looking around in her bag. 

He nods and waits, trying hard not to cringe at the feeling of the hot coffee now starting to dry onto his skin. 

“It seems I must have forgotten to pack any, I am so sorry” she apologizes. 

Lando was just about to reply that it’s fine when he gets interrupted “Here you can have these” a soft voice says. 

He looks to see where that voice is coming from when he sees the guy from the bakery standing next to him, holding tissues out to him. Lando’s heart stops, again, and he doesn’t know how long it takes him to process the guy’s words, but he knows it was too long because the guy holds his hand out closer to Lando, to offer again. 

“Oh, thank you” is all Lando manages to get out and grabs a tissue from the strangers hand. He slowly moves to wipe some of the, now almost completely dried, coffee off his arm and starts blushing when he feels the guy’s eyes on him. 

“I really have to leave to catch my train, again, I am so sorry about this” the woman says with a sorry look on her face. 

“It’s okay, have a good day!” Lando replies and waves goodbye to the woman. 

“Are you okay?” the stranger asks and looks at him with concern in his eyes. 

Lando stops waving and turns to look at him, to really look at him for the first time, up close. He can’t describe the feeling that washes over him. There is something about that guy, that just pulls him in, that is captivating. He realizes, he must be staring like an absolute creep and clears his throat before speaking. 

“Umm yeah, might suffer from severe fourth degree burns, but other than that I am fine” he manages to get out with an awkward chuckle. 

The stranger also chuckles and Lando notices how his eyes almost close and crinkle and the side, the sound is so heartful but soft and also silly, it’s like music to Lando’s ears. 

“I’m glad, that looks nasty. I hope the coffee won’t stain too much” the stranger says with a genuine and soft voice. 

“It’s okay. These aren’t my best clothes, so the loss wouldn’t be too bad” Lando smiles. 

The guy nods, looks around and then looks back to Lando “Do you happen to know if there is more than one bakery in this train station? I was meant to meet someone at a bakery, but I am not from here and have been waiting for quite a while, that I am now wondering if I got the wrong one” he says and scratches the back of his head while looking a bit confused and lost. 

Lando too mesmerized by the stranger’s face and voice, doesn’t immediately get what the guy is talking about “No there is only one. Wait a second! Are you Martin?” he asks and watches as the guy’s eyes widen.

“Yes! Are you Lando?” he asks with a wide smile on his face. 

Hearing his name coming from Martin’s lips, might be his favorite thing in the world right now and he wants to hear it again. 

“That would be me” Lando smiles back. 

Martin’s smile gets bigger if that’s even possible. “Nice! I am so glad I found you. I was getting a bit worried I got lost or that you wouldn’t show up” Martin laughs. 

“Did you have to wait long? I thought I was on time, my dad told me when to be here, maybe he messed up the times” Lando says with a worried look on his face, feeling bad for making Martin wait. 

“No, it’s okay. It wasn’t that long. I am glad we found each other. Thanks for picking me up” he says and all Lando can think of in the back of his mind is that he is also glad they found each other. 

They make their way to Lando’s car that’s parked outside and Lando feels almost giddy at the thought of Martin spending the entire summer with them. When they reach the car Lando turns to Martin to help him put his stuff in the back, when he notices a guitar case. 

“You play the guitar?” he asks curiously. 

“Yes! Been playing since I was a kid” Martin replies eagerly. 

“Oh sick! I always wanted to learn but never got the chance to” Lando sighs. 

“I could teach you. It’s not that difficult” Martin smiles at him and Lando feels excitement rushing through him at the thought of Martin teaching him to play the guitar. 

He nods eagerly “That would be mint! Thank you.”

After all of Martin’s stuff is loaded into the car they get in at the front and Lando starts the drive back home. He put his playlist from earlier back on but doesn’t turn the volume as high as if he was driving alone. 

“So… what brings you to a random ranch in Tennessee this summer?” he decides to ask Martin, curious to know why he is spending their summer with them. 

“I am trying so save up some money for my career in music and thought a change of scenery and nature would be nice” Martin replies while looking out the window to watch the scenery as they are leaving town. 

“Oh! So you don’t just play the guitar as a hobby? What kind of career are you set on?” Lando asks with curiosity, not expecting Martin to be a serious musician. 

“Singer/Songwriter, I guess. I write songs and come up with melodies all the time, mainly on the guitar, sometimes on the piano, but I obviously can’t take that one with me everywhere” Martin chuckles and drums his fingers against the side of the car, as if he already had a new melody in mind. Lando glances over briefly and feels amazed by Martin. 

“That’s so nice! Will we get to hear any of your stuff? Or are you gatekeeping that for a special time?” he asks. 

“I can play you some of my stuff. Back at home I did some shows or people’s weddings. I am happy about any audience” Martin smiles softly. 

Home, Lando realizes he has no idea where Martin’s home is “Where are you even from? I don’t think my dad mentioned” he asks. 

“I’m from New York City” Martin says casually. 

Lando almost slams the brakes, when he hears Martin say that and looks over at him with wide eyes “What?! You are from New York and want to spend your summer in freaking Tennessee?!” he says loudly. 

Martin chuckles at Lando’s outburst “Well technically me and my family from Amsterdam, but we moved to the States when I was little. And yes, I do want to spend my summer here in Tennessee” he smiles. 

“Wait wait wait, this is too much information at once. You’re dutch?” Lando asks, not being able to process everything Martin is telling him. 

“Yup” Martin says softly. 

“Okay but if you’re from New York City why the fuck would you spend your summer here?” Lando asks, honestly confused about what Martin wants here. 

Martin chuckles again, amused by Lando’s reactions “As I said, I wanted a change of scenery. New York can be a bit much and overwhelming at times. Don’t get me wrong, I love it there, but I’ve felt a desperate need to escape the big city and buildings to just be somewhere calm to clear my head. My family and I used to spend our summers on a ranch in Texas when I was younger and I remember these as my favorite summers. The freedom of not seeing a building, just nature and the horizon, feeling so free on a horse. I missed all of that” he explains softly.

Lando nods but stays silent for a short while thinking about Martin’s reasoning. He can’t relate to Martin at all. All his life Lando has wanted nothing more than to live in a big city, to see the world, so he can’t really understand that someone would willingly want to spend their summer on the countryside of Tennessee. 

“Can’t say I can understand, but everyone their own I guess” Lando says in a slightly teasing tone. 

“Have you ever been in New York?” Martin asks curiously. 

Lando lets out a laugh at that question but then sighs and shakes his head “Nope. Sadly not, it’s on my very long bucket list. I hope one day I can be there with my camera.” 

The sad and yearnful undertone is barely there but Marin catches it and looks at Lando with soft eyes “Camera? Are you into photography?” 

“Umm yeah. I am by far not a professional and don’t have the equipment for that either, but I love getting out and taking pics, capturing moments and spots others might ignore and walk past. One day I want to travel the world with my camera and capture every corner I can find” Lando says with yearning and hope in his voice, Martin smiles at that. 

“You should come visit me in New York one day, one of my best friends, is a photographer, I think you would like him” he offers Lando. 

“We haven’t known each other for an entire hour yet and you are already inviting me? What if I turn out to be a total weirdo or asshole? You can’t know if you will like me yet” Lando replies with a teasing look. 

Martin lets out a small laugh “Well then my first instinct and judgement would have to betray me, because I already like you and I don’t think that will change” he says seriously. 

Lando’s heart stops at Martin’s words and he looks over at him for a second too long, before looking back at the road and gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter than before. 

“I feel flattered, hopefully I don’t make you regret saying these words” he says, back to teasing Martin. 

“I hope so too” Martin replies and Lando smiles at him.

-

After a smooth ride to the Norris ranch and a warm welcome from the family, Lando shows Martin where he would stay for the next few weeks. The small cabin next to the main house is mainly used for the summer helps, no matter how many times Lando has begged his dad to let him move into the cabin. His brother recently moved into the bigger cabin, slightly further from the main house, with his wife and kids, while Lando was still stuck living in the main house with his parents and sisters. 

“So this is all yours for the summer. There is a bedroom, bathroom, living area and kitchen, though my mom will probably beg you to eat with us all the time anyways. Make yourself feel at home I guess” Lando says to Martin, who looks around with amazement. 

“I’ll have all of this to myself?” he asks looking at Lando in disbelief. 

“Yup” Lando pops the p at the end. 

“Wow, this is much more than I could have ever expected. Thank you” Martin says with a grateful smile. 

“Don’t thank me. It’s my dad’s decision” Lando shrugs his shoulders. 

“Where are you staying? Is there another one of these?” Martin asks him. 

“Yeah, there is another one that’s slightly bigger, my brother and his family live in it. I am still stuck with my parents. I thought I would get this one after returning from college, but my dad is set on keeping this one for the helps during summer” Lando explains. 

“College? What did you study?” Martin asks curiously.

“Business and Photography. Made a deal with my dad that he would support my photography hobby, if I also major in something useful and help run the ranch and family business later on with my brother” Lando replies. 

“Oh wow! And you said you weren’t a professional. But it’s very loyal of you to come back to your family, instead of pursuing your dreams” Martin says, truly admiring Lando for that. 

“Yeah, well… they sacrificed a lot for me, so I could study photography and I will forever be grateful for that. And I could never leave my family. My dreams will have to stay dreams” Lando smiles weakly.

“I get that and I am sure they respect you a lot for that. I am also a big family guy, but I also believe in following and chasing your dreams. I don’t want to be old and grey one day regretting not chasing my dreams and thinking about what could have been, the “what if”, you know?” Martin explains in a way that makes Lando almost nostalgic about something that isn’t even lost yet. 

It’s not like Lando has fully given up on his dreams, but since he finished college he never paid them much thought, not daring to be hopeful about fulfilling them one day, but now here is Martin, a guy he has known for two hours, reminding him of what he truly wants in life.

He clears his throat before answering “Yeah, I know… Maybe an opportunity will come up one day” he decides to shrug it off for the moment. 

Martin shows him a sympathetic and understanding smile. 

“Okay, you probably want to start unpacking and getting settled in, so I’ll leave you be. I will probably be outside at the stables, so you can just come find me whenever you’re done” Lando says and starts leaving. 

“Thank you!” Martin says and Lando stops to look back at Martin once again and sees him show a smile that is so warm that it makes Lando’s warm up as well.

-

Martin’s first weeks on the ranch pass by like a breeze. It’s spent with lots of giggles, especially when Martin manages to fall off a horse, even though he swears that he has never fallen off one before, but Lando teases him endlessly and Martin knows that he will never live this down. 

As quickly as the first weeks pass, it also feels like a lifetime to Lando and Martin, who fell into an easy rhythm. They could both swear they have known each other for much longer than just a few weeks. There hasn’t been one uncomfortable or awkward moment of silence between them. Lando’s parents watch with amazement as they see their son, form a pure and genuine connection with Martin. There is barely a moment these two don’t spend together, giggling and laughing at the smallest things. Martin fits into their family, as if he had always been a part of it, never skipping a breakfast or dinner with the entire Norris family. 

“Hey Marty! Watch this!” Lando yells over to Martin, who is currently saddling his horse, and tries, but fails miserably to get his water bottle with a lasso. Martin can’t stop laughing as he watches him try multiple times until he finally gives up with a sheepish smile on his face and just grabs the bottle from the ground. 

“A for effort!” he yells at him with a grin on his face. 

Lando grins back at him “Thank you! I think so as well. Next time I will get it!”

Martin laughs at that “You sure will!” 

“Okay boys! Let’s get ready!” Adam tells them and they finish saddling their horses. 

Lando swallows when he sees Martin put his cowboy hat on and getting on his horse. He can’t stop staring at Martin on that goddamn horse, he has seen Martin on a horse before, but there is something about him in this exact moment, that makes Lando’s throat extremely dry. Maybe it’s the way the sun is shining and how the light is falling perfectly on Martin, that it creates an almost unreal glow on his skin. All that Lando can think about is how he wishes he had his camera with him right now so he could capture this and it’s in that moment that he realizes that he wants nothing more than to take pictures of Martin, because nothing in the world has captivated him and stolen his breath like Martin. 

“Lando! You coming or what?” his dad interrupts his thoughts and he feels slightly embarrassed when he notices Martin, his dad and his brother staring at him with a questioning look. 

“Yeah, I’m coming” he says and quickly walks past Martin to get to his own horse. 

-

“You should come to this bar with me tonight!” Lando says as he walks into Martin’s cabin.

It didn’t take long for them both to feel comfortable enough to have Lando just barging in unannounced on a regular basis. Martin, who is currently sitting on the sofa with a bunch of notes spread out in front of him, looks up from the one he was currently scribbling on and smiles at Lando.

“Don’t we have to get up early tomorrow? I wouldn’t want to make a bad impression on your dad…” Martin voices his concern with crinkled eyebrows. 

“Nope” Lando pops the p at the end and smiles brightly.

“Dad told me we have tomorrow off and besides that I am sure you could never disappoint him, he loves you” Lando tells him. 

“Oh that’s nice, then yes of course!” Martin agrees happily. 

“Mint! Be ready in like an hour” Lando says and leaves as abruptly as he came, Martin smiles to himself watching as Lando skips out of the cabin.

-

Lando is leaning against his car when Martin steps out of his cabin an hour later. He is wearing blue jeans that perfectly hug his hips with a casual shirt tucked into them and a beige cowboy hat on his perfect curls. There is something about the way Lando is leaning against the car with his hips slightly popped to the side that makes Martins mouth dry. As much as he has grown to love Lando’s curls and often wonders what they feel like, if they are as soft as they look, he will never get over seeing him with the cowboy hat on and swears that it makes Lando’s face look even more perfect. He has to stop his train of thought, shows Lando a smile and finally makes his way over to him. 

Lando also shows him a cheeky smile “You ready?” he asks and moves off the car to open the door to the passenger side for Martin.

“Yes” Martin breathes out and has to stop himself from blushing. 

He gets into the car and tries to be chill about the fact that Lando opened the passenger door for him, Lando is a nice guy, a gentleman, he probably always does that for everyone and it doesn’t mean anything special. Lando hops onto the drivers seat and starts the car. 

“So where is this bar you are taking me?” Martin asks and watches Lando put his arm around his seat to look back as he reverses the car out of the driveway, he watches as Lando skillfully moves the steering wheel with one hand and Martin could swear he is about go insane, because this is another thing that has been driving him crazy lately: watching Lando drive, or more specifically watching him steer the car with one hand. 

“It’s in town, so like a thirty-minute drive. Near the train station where I picked you up” Lando replies before looking over with a cheeky grin and adding “It’s a karaoke bar and you are going to sing a song with me!” he says excitedly. 

Martin feels all color drain from his face “What?!” he exclaims and looks over at Lando who is giggling at his reaction. 

“Oh come on, you have been here for more than two weeks and still haven’t performed anything for me. And I get it if you want to keep your songs to yourself, so I thought karaoke would be perfect! You don’t have to perform something of your own. And I love karaoke! We can sing something together” Lando says with so much excitement that Martin has no other choice but to agree. 

“Yeah okay” he says and the smile on Lando’s face is totally worth it.

-

They arrive at the bar and Lando leads the way with an excited and determined look on his face that makes Martin chuckle. Lando orders them both a drink at the bar and turns to Martin “I already know which song we are going to sing” he says with a big grin on his face. 

“Oh, do you?” Martin asks. 

“Yup” Lando nods his head excitedly. 

“And which one would that be? Do I get a say in this?” Martin questions with raised eyebrows. 

“Nope” Lando shakes his head and takes a sip of his drink to stop his grin from showing. 

“Do I even know the song?” Martin asks with a bit of a panicked voice, scared that he will embarrass himself in front Lando and everyone else in this bar. 

“I am pretty sure you do I would be surprised if you didn’t” Lando tells him, but Martin doesn’t feel reassured and starts to pray that he knows the song. 

“I will go request it now because it always takes a while. Be right back” Lando says and walks to someone near the stage. 

When he gets back they find a table to sit at. “You do this regularly?” Martin asks curiously. 

“Not as often as I would like to. During college me and my friends would hit up a karaoke bar pretty often, but since I graduated and got back home I haven’t really been” Lando explains and Martin notices a nostalgic look on his face when he mentions college and his friends.  He wants to ask about it but decides a karaoke bar is probably not the best place to do that. 

“Then I feel honored to be here with you tonight” he smiles at Lando and watches as Lando’s face lights up again. 

“Cheers to that” Lando says and raises his glass. 

“Cheers” Martin clinks his glass with Lando’s and they both smile at each other as they take a sip. 

They watch other people sing karaoke and get amused when most of them completely miss the notes and Martin cringes when some even lack even any kind of rhythm. He smiles when he catches Lando quietly singing along to most songs. He almost forgot that Lando put them on then list as well until their names are suddenly being called “Next up are Lando and Martin!”

Lando looks at Martin with excitement and stands up immediately. “Come on!” he hurries Martin over to the stage.

Lando hands him a mic and that’s when he remembers that he still has no idea what song they are about to sing when the familiar sound of a guitar and piano start playing. He looks at Lando who is grinning widely and then to the screen in front of them to confirm if he recognized the song correctly. 

He looks back to Lando who starts talking the first part “I was all but 22, I think at the time. I’d been out on the road, lonely at night. And it’d been a while, so it was on my mind” he has to stop himself from laughing when Lando suddenly does a spot on country accent and starts singing directly to him. 

“Well I saw him walk in, with his cowboy hat and I thought to myself, I could use some of that. His boots like glass on a sawdust floor, huh. Had moves like nothing I’d ever seen before” Lando absolutely dramatizes every expression on his face and moves his body perfectly to emphasize every word. 

“So I walked right up and I pulled him to the side. I handed that man a beer and looked him in the eyes” Lando now stopped right in front of Martin to look him in the eyes and continues “And I said: Baby, I think you’re gonna wanna hear this. Then I told him” he then closes his eyes to give it his all and sings “Excuse me, you look like you love me. You look like you want me to want you to come on home. And baby I don’t blame you for looking me up and down across this room. I am drunk and I am ready to leave. And you look like you love me”. 

Martin watches with amazement as Lando moves so freely on the stage and does a little dance while singing, totally feeling himself. Lando then moves to stand more the side to give Martin the stage and Martin doesn’t have time to think, almost missing the start of his part. 

“Well I was down at the local beer joint with a few of the guys. When this cute little country boy caught my eye” Martin didn’t really plan that lyric change, it just slipped out, but he catches Lando stopping his little dance moves for a second when he glances over to him to see his reaction. 

“And boy let me you, he was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen in a pair of boots. Well he walked right up to me, handed me a beer. Gave me a look like lets get out of here and that’s when I realized that he was every cowboy’s dream come true” Martin glances back over to Lando and notices a new look in his eyes, an emotional one. 

“He told me this right here, he said” he finishes his solo and looks back to Lando to sing the chorus together. They sing together in harmony and the smiles couldn’t be bigger on both of their faces. Lando dances around Martin, moving his hips and shoulders in a way that makes it hard for Martin to focus. 

“So if you ever see a man in a cowboy hat and you think to yourself, I could use some of that. Don’t waste your time. Just give him this here line. Goes a little like this” Lando sings and puts his Cowboy hat on top of Martins head with a wide grin on his face. 

Martin looks at him caught off guard by his action, but quickly recovers when Lando winks at him before starting the chorus one last time. It’s like every other person in that bar doesn’t exist while they are singing to each other, in their own world, feeling weightless in time and space for the moment. 

“You look like you love me” they finish the song, not hearing the clapping from the crowd in front of the small stage, not caring that everyone is looking at them, they only have eyes for each other right now and while the last note of song plays they smile widely at each other before being snatched out of their moment “Thank you to Lando and Martin! What a performance that was!”

They share one last look and then leave the stage to go back to their table. “That was amazing! Your voice is amazing!” Lando beams at Martin and pulls him into a side hug. 

“Thank you, yours wasn’t too bad as well. Sure you don’t want to consider a career in singing?” he replies. 

Lando smiles brightly at him “Nah. I am not built for the life in public, on a stage” he shrugs. 

“I get that, but I think the world would love you” Martin says wholeheartedly. 

“Really?” Lando whispers and smiles shyly. 

“Yes. I think no matter what you end up doing, as long as you do what you are passionate about and stay true to yourself, the world won’t have a choice but to love you for being you” he says, meaning every single word. 

“Thank you” Lando whispers with a blush on his face, looking down at his hands. 

Martin takes one of Lando’s hands making him look at him again “I mean it. Every single word” and when says it he doesn’t just mean the conversation they just had and he hopes Lando knows that. 

“You do?” Lando breathes out. 

“I do” Martin replies, never having meant these two words more than in that moment. 

Lando looks at him with so much emotion in his eyes, Martin can feel himself getting lost in his ocean eyes that show so much depth, so many layers and he wants to discover them all. 

“Do you wanna go for a drive?” Lando suddenly asks him. 

“Yes” Martin replies. 

They both stand up and walk out of the bar. When they reach the car Martin remembers that he still has Lando’s hat on that he put there during the song. 

“Wait. I still have your hat. Here” he takes it off and wants to give it back, but Lando laughs and shakes his head. 

“Don’t you know the cowboy hat rule?” he asks. 

“The what rule?” Martin asks with a confused look on his face. 

“If you wear the hat, you have to ride the cowboy” Lando says and shows him a cheeky grin before getting into the car. 

Martin almost chokes when the words leave Lando’s lips, he stands there frozen “You coming or what?” Lando yells from inside the car with a laugh. 

Martin takes a deep breath to regain his composure and gets in the car. Lando starts the car and drives away from the bar, Martin actually has no idea where Lando planned on driving. Unlike the other times Martin has driven with Lando, there is no music playing this time, it’s completely silent in the car. The only sound that could be heard was the one the car made as it passed through the streets. Martin notices another abnormality, Lando keeping both hands on the steering wheel. Normally he would only use one hand and keep the other one resting, but this time it seems like he is gripping the steering wheel tightly with both hands. Martin can feel the tension in the car building up. Lando who seemed so confident and carefree when they left the bar is suddenly refusing to look at him, seeming tense. 

“Where are we driving to?” Martin asks after a while, deciding to break the tension. 

He sees Lando rearranging his hold on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white from the tight grip “A spot I want to show you” he mumbles. 

“Okay” Martin replies with a soft voice. 

-

Their performance in the bar made Lando feel more alive than ever, the rush he got from singing to Martin, with Martin, was indescribable. And then Martin changed the lyrics, he sang boy instead of girl and he stared into Lando eyes while doing so and Lando swears he was about to faint on that stage. It sparked something in Lando, hope. The entire time, since Martin arrived, he didn’t dare to have hope. He didn’t dare to make himself believe that Martin might reciprocate his feelings. 

Lando could be honest with himself, he fell head over heels for Martin. From the moment he saw him at the train station, not knowing who he even was, he has been falling. Every moment he has spent with him since then made him fall even deeper. Every smile of Martin, every laugh, made Lando’s heart skip a beat. He suddenly loved waking up early, eager to start the day, to see Martin. When his dad wanted to give him days off, he made up excuses of wanting to help more. Every night he lay in bed, thinking about Martin, dreaming about Martin. But whenever he thought of Martin, he never let himself have hope, there was no way Martin liked him like that, so when Martin changed the lyric and looked at him like that it threw Lando off. For the first time he felt hope. Hope that Martin might like him back, that there was a chance.

When they went off the stage, he felt so much joy and happiness, he couldn’t believe what just happened and then Martin went even further and said the things he said. That the world would love him, just for being himself, that he meant every word. Lando couldn’t help himself, but to wonder if Martin not only meant the words, he said off stage, but also the ones on stage. He felt overwhelmed by all these new revelations and possibilities, so he suggested the one thing he always does when he gets overwhelmed: a drive to his favorite spot. 

He doesn’t know what confidence overtook him when he told Martin about the cowboy hat rule, maybe it was the adrenaline from performing on stage or the adrenaline Martin made him feel, but as soon as he started driving all the confidence left him again. He started doubting everything, maybe Martin didn’t mean anything like that and Lando just completely misinterpreted everything. He suddenly felt stupid for getting his hopes up, for misreading the situation. What if he embarrassed himself in front of Martin? He didn’t dare to look at him. So after parking the car Lando sits in his driver’s seat for a few moments when they arrived at their destination. He can feel Martin staring at him, probably confused by his behavior. 

“What is this place?” Martin speaks, breaking Lando’s spiraling thoughts. 

“It’s ummm, it’s my favorite spot to go to when I need to clear my head” he replies in a soft tone, still not daring to look at Martin. 

“Oh” Martin says. 

“It’s stupid. We can leave if you want to. I don’t know why I brought you here” Lando says, feeling even more stupid. 

“No! Please, I want to stay” Martin says immediately.

“Show me, please” he adds softly. 

Lando finally looks over to him “Okay” he whispers. 

They get out of the car and Lando takes the blanket he always keeps in there and moves towards the cargo bed. He spreads out the blanket “I like to sit here and watch the view, at day you can obviously see much more, we are on top of a small cliff, but at night it’s nice to watch the stars and just enjoy the calm” he explains to Martin, who is smiling at him and moves to make himself comfortable on the blanket. 

“It’s nice. Thank you for showing it to me” he says. 

Lando nods at him and then also sits down. The back of the car doesn’t leave them much room, so when Lando sits down next to him, their arms are pressed together. He can feel the heat radiating off of Martin’s body that always seems to be hot. They are quiet for a few minutes, enjoying the view and each other’s presence. After a while Lando can feel himself getting cold and silently curses himself for only wearing a shirt and not bringing a jacket, it might be summer, but the nights get cold. In an attempt to warm himself up he rubs his arms and curls forward a bit, making Martin look at him. 

“Are you alright?” he asks with a concerned look. 

“Yeah, just a bit cold. Forgot to bring a hoodie or jacket” Lando says with a slight shiver. 

“Come here” Martin says and without hesitating wraps an arm around Lando to pull him close and starts stroking his arm, feeling his cold skin. Lando’s heart skips a beat when Martin pulls him close and starts touching his skin. Martin’s warm hand almost burns his cold skin, but it’s a nice and comforting burn. He can immediately feel his body warming up and relaxing, leaning his head on Martin’s shoulder, embracing the warmth and closeness he has been craving. 

“Better?” Martin whispers after a few minutes, moving his head to look at Lando who smiles up at him with soft eyes. 

“Yes” Lando whispers back. 

“Thank you” he adds. 

Martin gives his arm a gentle squeeze. 

“In the bar, you said you meant every word. Is that true?” Lando finally gets the courage to ask. 

“Yes” Martin replies without hesitating. 

He moves his other arm that isn’t around Lando to gently grab his face and make him look at him. Lando feels frozen when Martins face is so close in front of him, when he feels him softly caressing his cheek and looking deeply into his eyes. 

“You drive me crazy Lando” Martin whispers and at the sound of his name Lando’s eyes flutter shut and he moves his face closer into the palm of Martin’s hand. 

“I thought I always knew what I wanted until you were right in front of me and since then there hasn’t been a second where you don’t consume every thought of mine. It’s been almost painful to be so close to you every day without having you. It’s been torture.” Martin continues to whisper.

They are so close now that Lando can feel Martin’s breath on his face. He doesn’t know if it’s even possible, but he pulls Martin’s head even closer by pulling on his neck, the tip of his fingers buried in Martin’s hair. 

“Please” Lando whimpers and moves even closer to rub his nose against Martin’s cheek. 

“Please what?” Martin asks and rubs his thumb over Lando’s lower lip, whose lips part the second he touches them. 

“Kiss me” Lando breathes out shakily and then it doesn’t take longer than a second and Martin’s lips are on his. They are softer than he could have ever imagined and the only thing allowing him to breathe again is the moan he lets out when Martin’s hand finds its way to his curls and gives them a pull that sends electric shocks through Lando’s body. He doesn’t know or care how much time passes as they kiss each other as if their lives depended on it, they actually might, or how they got into this position, but he suddenly finds himself straddling Martin’s hips being pulled in for another kiss.

“Mhhmm” he moans again and then forces himself to pull away so he can catch his breath and look at Martin. 

Martin who is laying beneath him with messy hair, swollen lips and a lazy smile on his face, Lando is sure he looks exactly the same. He rests his hands on top of Martin’s chest and smiles down at him “Hey” he says softly. 

“Hey” Martin breathes out and puts his hands on top of Lando’s to give them a gentle squeeze. 

“What took you so long? You muppet” Lando tries to say with an accusing tone but fails when he starts giggling, feeling high after the makeout. 

“What took me so long?! I had no idea if you wanted this!” Martin tries to defend himself and fakes an offended face. 

Lando lets out a scoff “You had no idea?! I could not have been more obvious Marty!”

“Obvious?! In what way?” Martin asks, confused by Lando’s revelation. 

“Marty… I started doing my brothers chores just so I could spend more time with you, I went with you to your cabin after dinner every night, I literally tried to spend every second of my day with you, trying to impress you in every possible way. You muppet!” Lando says, a bit frustrated that apparently, he wasn’t obvious enough. 

After a few seconds of the realization hitting him Martin giggles and moves his hands to rest on Lando’s hips. 

“What’s so funny” Lando whines at him. 

“I guess I really was a muppet” Martin smiles at him. 

“Yes you were!” Lando says. 

“I was doubting myself the entire time! I thought you weren’t into me” he adds with a pout. 

Martin squeezes his hips in an effort to reassure him “I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t want to overstep or make things weird between us or your family. I was an idiot for not realizing” Martin apologizes softly. 

“Forgive me?” he asks cheekily. 

“I guess there are ways you can make it up to me” Lando smirks at him and moves down again, his face inches in front of Martin’s.

“Oh really?” Martin breathes out heavily. 

“Mhmm” Lando hums, eyes fixated on Martin’s lips. 

“I’m all yours Cowboy” Martin whispers.

[utilitycaster]

who out here sieging they weisshaupt

anyway. I understand wardens by definition go to horrible blighted places BUT every warden location SUCKS ASS. Let's do the rundown. A lot has happened.

Siege of Weisshaupt! I took Emmrich with me (Davrin is required and also makes sense) and while, again, I'm on Dumbass mode for combat, I must admit it kinda sucks that two of my healers AND rook are all most lethal with necrotic damage and darkspawn are resistant. this was perhaps a bad idea. I lived though, and I punched the warden and everyone except the academics approved, which is hilarious. Sorry Emmrich and Bellara I am NOT using my words. Also Bellara you'd feel better if you punched someone. Also bringing Emmrich IS pretty funny both because he is a very good healer/buffer and as Davrin and I are both tanks and damage dealers and my physical damage is nothing to sneeze at it's fine; and because Davrin is like IT IS MY DESTINY TO DIE IN GLORY AND DUTY and Emmrich is like the thought of dying makes me sick to my stomach and I am a necromancer.

I'll admit the sad failure family dinner and the solas convo after AND Varric all were like BY THE WAY YOU SHOULD DO COMPANION QUESTS and it was a little clunky BUT some people are stupid and I appreciate the game makes it obvious to them. also, talking to Lucanis, Davrin, and Neve was very fun for me (tragedy enjoyer). I now see why you talk with Davrin so much; he changes drastically after Weisshaupt and becomes much more interesting and you need to have that baseline.

I am slowly regaining Neve's trust! Also Neve being terrible at making coffee and Lucanis flirting with her in the form of "oh my god your coffee is the worst thing ever let me make you some" is a fucking. main quest interaction. Then I took Lucanis to Dock Town for the mission while Davrin dealt with his justified depressive episode.

The scene where Spite possesses Lucanis is missable if you don't check, and that's an oversight on Bioware's part, I must admit. Also I NEVER take the comedy mask option but I had to for the "you can't caffeinate your way out of this line" even though I as a real life person drink a quart of jet-fuel level coffee a day. Once a vending machine gave me three Celsius Essentials for the price of one and I briefly considered finding out what would happen if I drank all of them, and I'd already had coffee that day. Point being Lucanis's inclinations are relatable.

I'm back on that sweet sidequest life before The Cauldron quest, particularly the companion quests. There's like 3in Arlathan I haven't even picked up and of course I must go back to the wetlands my beloathed to see Evka (one of two good things in the wetlands, the other being Antoine). I DID do Bellara's companion quest. I love how the part 2 companion quests are like your friends are GOING THROUGH IT. Again. not subtle. but I do love justified angst. Neve literally the only person who isn't in a deep depression or anxiety spiral right now. I'm even playing Rook as feeling bad enough to admit weakness to Solas. Oh anyway Bellara's quest is great. Matt Mercer is there again, in a performance that made me go "wait is that Matt Mercer?" His delivery is incredible. Obsessed with how everyone was like MATT MERCER IS IN THIS GAME. HE'S A HISSING SKELETON. and actually he's playing two major characters.

I'll make a separate post later about this specifically, but I love the crossroads and could spend all my time there, which is why I've already fought Mythal I guess. I HAVE learned some of my lesson re: sidequesting aggressively though, and I am saving the necropolis dragon for when I'm "not only level thirty...four?" and "am better at this".

Again, my tolerance for clunky-ass dialogue in fantasy is high BUT. This game uses the word "fucking" so why do they keep saying "butt" instead of "ass." It tracks for Davrin, who is a dork, but I'm sorry and not to self insert excessively but Rook would say the word "ass" in front of Mila. there is a fucking archdemon. let the child learn the cuss words.

GOT A BLACK EMPORIUM INVITE BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYY time to FINISH MY GIFT GIVING

[farfallasims]

hi maddiiii!!!!! how are you? i hope you are well! anyways, do you think you could tell me how to make my sims look more unique? i am wondering how you avoid same-face syndrome (lol) and make really beautiful and out of the ordinary sims, for example Lomi, Asami, and the Ivanov family. i am aware of your genetics post with all of your cc listed, but i am not sure if you have answered how exactly you make each sim truly special. thank you so much for taking the time to read this. you are a beautiful gift to us 🦋

Hi gorgeous, I'm lovely & I hope you are as well!

My biggest tip for making more unique faces which is what I've been doing lately is having a face reference. Pinterest has sooooo many beautiful faces to look at and by having a reference of someone you find beautiful it'll promote you to do more unique features, try different presets, etc.

For reference, Mila.

Is it exact carbon copy? Of course not, I am not that talented at all. But, it made me use presets I wouldn't normally use, try different genetics, etc.

I hope this helps!

[littlemissclandestine]

hey ꒰(･‿･)꒱ I just saw your Adler edits and I luv them sm !! your blog is amazing too I read you have ocs that you wanna publish and made me wanna do it myself but I’m shy 🙈 but i do want to see yours ! is your oc from cw and modern warfare II ? also which one is your favorite. i love ocs x canon too and i have met a couple of them i enjoy sm !! you have any fav oc x canon in the fandom ?

srry if it’s to much!!! I love your blog 💗

Hello dear lovely Anon!!

Dude i love your energy first of all. Like i'm getting noice vibes from you haha 💜

And OMG i'm so glad to hear that you love my Adler edits! 😭 I don't really post my edits on here because it feels like tumblr is more for fanart and fanfic etc. I might upload them all to youtube when i get a chance for lols. But honestly thank you for that! You've given me a motivation boost 🫶

Over the moon that you think my blog is amazing! I think it's chaotic tbh but happy you love it! Mwah 😽

Aww that's cayoot, you wanna see my OCs? Soon, promise. You should share your ocs with the world when you're ready too! <33

Kind of answered some of your question(s) on OCs in this post but here ya go anyway:

In terms of my OCS, I have 2 for the MW universe (reboot), 2 for the BO universe (mainly CW though because of ✨Adler✨ ) and 2 for some other video games. But you know what? I swear I just keep making random ones in my head so i may have more in store. -> That rhymes hehe. See it? O...kay i'll stop. AHEM

My favourite OC out of my collection would be...

NOPE can't choose. That's pure evil Anon. It's like picking your favourite child. 😭

And then out of the whole COD fandom? Yeesh that's a tough one because I love loads if i'm being honest. People are so creative and it just puts a huge smile on my face seeing them in their element and vibing. Though, the ones i'm currently following the most are sleepyconfusedpotato's Jade x Ghost pairing and alypink's Aleks x Adler pairing. They both bring me immense joy tbh. Like I actually scream whenever I see a post about them and my family look at me like wtf cbkdksjsk

Honourable mentions: iamcautiouslyoptimistic's Helina x Mason, alexxmason's Selena x Mason, alypink's Aly x Price & efingart's Mila x Woods. Y'all i could go on and on tbh. You'd think I love BO more but i don't looool.

Wasn't too much at all! Ask as much as you want, my love. Thanks a bunch, honestly. It makes me all giddy when i get an ask. I find it cute that you wanna interact with but feel a lil shy. YOLO Anon, YOLO.

Best wishes! 🌠

[adolin]

had a bad gym experience (everyone was mean to me) ( ok not everyone but like two people) anyway regale me with ur positive experiences pleasee

nuuuu I'm sorry anon!!<333 I will [redacted] them for you

My gymgoing rn is very chill because basically nobody is in town in August and it's quite empty with less staff and I get to do whatever I want <3 with no people in the way, which is cool but also a bit lonely... I miss Andrea the weight room trainer who's on the late afternoon shift on Mondays, and starting at around 9PM he puts on a workout playlist that's made up entirely of Italian anime openings from the 90s and the 00s [here's a post for context about what Italian openings meant to Italian millennials]. I cannot stress enough how cool it is to work out to the Dragon Ball Z theme song especially when everyone in the room starts singing along. Sometimes I send whatsapp audios to my friends that's nothing but the Holly and Benji (Kyaputen Tsubasa) or Mila e Shiro (Atakkā Yū!) theme songs, and they're like "Oh so you're at the gym right?"

[keyleth-clay]

(Second half of this ask from @fey-changeling)

Venture Maidens Ship Headcanons (one for each of my ships):

Arrnodel/Aaron: I like to headcanon Arrnodel as acespec, specifically demisexual (largely influenced by mild spite towards an offhand comment that Brittany made in one of the Q&A's from early on in Fate), and I think that that colours their relationship very heavily. Between her overall lack of experience, her only just now realizing that she can, in fact, experience sexual attraction, and Aaron being pulled between his love for Arrnodel and his loyalty to Mila and Rem, it's not surprising that their relationship got rocky towards the end of the campaign, though I like to think they end up working things out eventually (yes I am once again ignoring the legacy games 💙.)

Kara/Gidget: Chrysanthemums. Ever since the first date way back when, when Kara brought Gidget that bouquet of mums, I can't help but associate them with the flowers (and hey, you read Two Months, you already knew that, I wasn't subtle about it lol). In the language of flowers, they symbolize love, loyalty, and longevity, and I think that's really fitting for them. Kara has a mums-patterned shirt, Gidget makes Kara a bouquet of metal mums, Gidget's favourite perfume is chrysanthemum scented, etc etc.

(bonus Glitchhilde headcanon: you know that post about "rubber duck debugging"? Kara is Gidget's rubber duck.)

Fera/Chess: okay, so sneak preview for Two Weeks, but given that Chess is a demi-deity, I think we as fanfic authors get to break all the rules and let them do whatever the hell we (and they) want. Specifically, they can kinda... communicate telepathically/slightly share a body with Fera, even across long distances? If that makes sense? They can slip a little bit of their immortal consciousness alongside hers, since they're basically her patron, and whatever she sees, they can see, and whatever she feels, they can feel. This, of course, leads to some very fun and kinky sexual experiments. How strongly does Chess feel what Fera does? Do they feel it in their own body, or is their some kind of disconnect? Does the connection go both ways? Can Chess open up the connection a little bit more and (consensually) control Fera during these encounters? They have a lot of fun figuring it out.

Rem/Isolde: God, I'm not even sure what headcanons I have for them that you haven't given me... let me think............ actually, kind of inspired by you anyways, but since Isolde is connected to the Sisters of Sorrow (weavers), I think it would be cool if she was also a crafter - knitting being the obvious choice, but also a seamstress who creates her own dresses, too. I think she'd always wanted to use Rem as a muse/mannequin for some of her dresses, but wasn't able to until Rem ended up in her Wood Elf body (due to being gremlin sized™). After the gods fall and the two of them aren't the main leaders of the Sisters/Furies anymore, they'd have a lot more time to get to indulge in their hobbies, and Isolde gets to dress Rem up all pretty and then make a mess of her later ❤️🤍🖤.

Valerius/Dee: Okay first of all, not a headcanon, but I just want to yell about how much I appreciate their relationship. Valerius is quite overtly flamboyant, in a way that could easily be read as queer, and it's so rare to find m/f relationships where the man is a flamboyant guy but still genuinely attracted to women (rather than just a closeted gay man), and that the woman is genuinely attracted to that flamboyance. They just feel like everyone's cool queer aunt & uncle and I love it. As far as headcanons go, I think that Valerius is quite fastidious about his appearance and hates to (literally) get his claws dirty, but he'll always make an exception for helping Dee out in the kitchen. I think they're also both quite good with kids, and any time that the Sisters/Furies end up taking in any children, the two of them end up being the de facto caretakers (again, cool queer aunt & uncle).

Bonus: literally just this post. ship them with me 🥺.

[shortstringworm]

Erm... Soooo I made some art with my friends! Anyways, I also wanted to mention that I did decide to finally decide on a final design of Spotty! And yes it did change. Buddy doesn't have overalls anymore. But it's okay! Cause their fluffy with patches! Sooo, yeah the arts under the cut and the new design of Spotty will be at the bottom of this post!

Wanna mention before all the lovely art all four us of is made, I wanna mention the characters names and looks! :3

This is Soul, who was made by Asher!

Beautiful little guy⭐

Now we have Terra and Luna, who were made by Mila!

Her art is so scrumptious 😋

And finally we have Billy, who was designed by Kalyie!

Silly little bowl dude is rockin those overalls better than Spotty ❤

Now onto the art!!

First we have a silly drawing made by Kalyie of all our sillys!!

Drawing I made of Spotty and Soul!!

Drawing I made of Spotty and Billy having a staring contest (first idea I had :3 ) I LOVE HOW I DREW BILLY❤❤

Now we have my latest drawing, one made by me and one made by Mila!! And it's both of our characters which are Spotty and Terra/Luna! ❤

Ignore how crappy mine looks, I do love love love Mila's!! She is such an amazing artist 💋❤ Smooches go to my bbg.

Welp!! That's all, just can art dump! But pretty soon I will have a new post up and all ready for Scotty's new design and everything! :3 See you all next post guys❤

[enmi-land]

🪷. THE GIRLZ OFFiCiAL SUBUNiT NAME DEBACLE ?

okay lovely people!! @minhypen posting her profile for her oc minyoung made me realise i still haven’t done the repost for mila and kiara’s subunit profiles, but i’ve been wanting to change their unit name for a while because ‘enhypen-g’ just seems so lazy to me. but anyway!! i have some options and would like people to give me their opinions (and if you have ideas, you can drop them as well) please!! i shall bribe you with the chapter names for the revamped rmu series (which shall be named the xo series bc of reasons) if that interest anyone!!

also please keep in mind that i’m not native korean speaker for anything so if someone here is and has opinions do lmk!

001. YEOINHYPEN/EN-YEOIN — “YEOIN (여인) “ translates to ‘female/woman,’ so the counterpart would have a form of “NAM (남)” which translates to ‘male/man’.

002. ENHYPEN-V — “V” stands for “Venus,” which is the planet commonly associated with feminine energy. alternately, it could stand for “Violet,” since the flower is associated with love and resilience I haven’t thought about the male counterpart for the boys though.

003. ENFINIT — Tried to do a wordplay on the word “Infinity” to represent the infinite possibilities. But, again, I’m not sure what to call the boys in this case—but I had an idea with ‘ENYEON’ which is another attempted wordplay on ‘INYEON (인연), referring to fate, which appears very often in Enhypen’s discography. And the name can be stylised as EN-1 (which kinda sounds like “anyone”) But anyway!

it’s still a work in progress but lmk which concept appeals most to you <3

[moonlinos]

mila. oh. my. god. i just finished reading invisible string and it is so FUCKING good!!!! that funny part is that i was just scrolling through my tumblr explore fyp, and i just happened to pass by your fic :0 i read the first part and i got SO hooked. you write so well, i love the way you write the mc's thoughts about love and how they developed over her time with minho. minho being soft and saying that he does stupid shit when he's in love just makes me wanna explode (but in a good way) as a person who had an ex, i can relate to the mc. maybe i haven't had five exes before, but i am more wary of loving and giving my heart to people because i was really heartbroken when that happened. anyways, you write so well, and you have just gained yourself a new follower! will def be binging some of your other fics soon :)))) i hope you have a great day/night, and your hard work is greatly appreciated ^-^

Ahhh this ask made my day, thank you so much 🥺 I’m glad you enjoyed it, I also enjoyed writing this story so much I kinda miss it now that it’s finished. I sadly don’t have any other fics for you to read ªªª 🙃 but I am actively writing like three fics rn, so I’ll definitely post something new soon!!

Thank you for your words again, I mean it this really made my day 🩷

[laladellakang]

OMG YOU’RE BACK!!! AAAHHHH EVERYONE SHUT UP—

As a note, I’m actually the owner of @1800-enha-mila (which is now changed to @enmi-land bc apparently I’m indecisive and don’t know what I want to be called LOL) and this is my admin account

so anyway I woke up and saw I got a notifications that you posted and I legit screamed (internally) and then when I saw that you mentioned me I ✨screamed✨ (not so internally) and let me just say — I’d LOVE to see a post by you inspired by my dark blood post bc not even kidding I am such a huge fan 🤧🤧

I love both you and della sm like not even joking!! 😫 your writing is >>> and character development is mwah top tier!!

but ANWAY!! Sorry for the long as paragraph rant thing but I just wanna say keep up the ✨AMAZING ✨WORK and ofc welcome back!! (Btw sorry to hear you were struggling with your account- hope everything is okay!!) but yeah you’re totally just like super Talented! Brilliant! Spectacular! Never been done before—

okay I’ll stop lol but hope you have an awesome day! 🫶🫶

you made me blush SO HARD in class that my prof literally asked if i was okay, i am not lying i swear to god. it was so embarrassing omfg

this was so sweet and thank you soooo much for your support, it means a lot to me 🤍

your oc/fic is going AMAZING thus far and (correct me if i'm wrong because this kinda sounds egocentric) i'm incredibly flattered that you felt inspired by mine. keep it up! i can't wait for the other posts 🤍🤍

everyone go check out mila!! (she's poly too 😉)

[efingart]

May I ask how did you come up with your Bell oc? She's amazing and even though I have my own Bell can't stop obsessing over yours haha, made me wish there was more than one Bell :3 also I love your art, you're the best!

Hey anon, oh thank you so much. I'm so happy you like her. It's really so cool to hear that you care about her 💙

I don't think I ever sat down to think about her creation. It's like she came fully formed out of my head like Athena.

I don't know how long you've been in the fandom, but she's been with me for a few years now. So I've had the benefit of time to develop her as a character and work on her overall look. Hell I didn't have a faceclaim for her for a year. And I've written, oh, a lot of words about her and a few comics lol. Also tons and tons and tons of drawings. Here's one now:

Also, I'm amazed at how things fell into place with her. For example, in the original JWIN comic (which is now just Chapter 1 of the fic) I just on a whim decided she liked milkshakes. And then I decided to look it up. Apparently, milkshakes were super popular in Soviet Russia. I had NO IDEA. But of course, now I had to run with it. And now I actually see there are people posting recipes for Soviet milkshakes. I think I'm going to have to make one.

If I had actually set goals for her development they would have been to fit her into canon events, the time period, and make her likable and relatable to my audience. And to me. She's definitely the kind of character that I gravitate towards. And I needed for Frank and for her to like Frank. I wanted to give both of them a little something better than what canon gave them. And given that I played Black Ops 1 and 2 after Cold War it just seemed like a natural fit.

Anyway, I wish I was a little more organized so I could give you a better answer. I'm always happy to answer more questions or clarify things because I know this wasn't the most detailed answer. Or if you have any questions about Mila in particular always feel free to ask!

And thank you so much, I'm really happy you love my art. That means the world to me, truly. I know I say that a lot but I do mean it genuinely 💙

EDIT: Oh hell I got so wrapped up in thinking this through I completely forgot. There is more than one Bell. I don't know how you feel about multiverse theory anon but when CoD gave us the choice to name and choose our own Bell it opened up the door to new universes and new outcomes. There's more than one Bell. If you want your Bell to hang out with mine or someone else's that works too.

Tbh I have been thinking about another Bell in The Boys Universe and Mila is there too.